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| GUIDELINES FOR ENLIGHTENMENT The Clown Chakra Seriousness is the leading cause of Reincarnation. by Steve Bhaerman |
| Heal your Heart - Love your Body - Live your Joy! Simply Stunning! A beautiful and profound experience 3 guided meditations on one CD. Access higher wisdom, intuition and insights. Change habits, release fears and activate healing energies. Buy Now Full description. Read what others say Sound samples and instant downloads (only about $1 per track) |
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|
The Clown Chakra
Very Serious Clown Scientists have found that your most serious problems
are rooted in the terribly serious condition identified as: Seriousness.
Seriousness is the leading cause of everything from constipation to cancer to
karma.
Scientists from the Clown Academy have also discovered a new source of
Healing. It is a powerful psychic energy point located between your Heart
Chakra and Throat Chakra. It is called the Clown Chakra.
If you are feeling miserable, if you have financial problems, if your
relationship is the pits, if you are in ill health, if you have a burning need to
sue people, if you always find fault with others, then obviously, your Clown
Chakra is clogged. When this happens, a high-powered microscope reveals
that the cells of every organ display a sad face, and when the Clown Chakra
is open and functioning normally, your cells display a happy face.
The Scientists also discovered that most disease is due to the fact that cells
are out of ease or dis-eased. When you feel ill, it is often because your mind
has projected guilt onto the cells of your body and has forced out the Love
that is naturally found within each cell of your body. The cells are saying, "I
Lack Love," or "ILL" for short.
When light enters darkness, the darkness is gone. When the Clown Chakra
is opened and working (or rather, playing) properly, the psychic mechanism
sucks up misery, pain, anger, resentment, grievances, unhappiness, etc., and
transforms the energy into tiny red heart-shaped balloons. The red heart-
shaped balloons contain God's most nourishing Love and Joy. These in-
riched balloons are directed to the dis-eased cell or situation, and a happy
face appears instantly.
These red heart-shaped balloons are called endorphins, due to the fact that
when you experience them, the feelings of separation ends. You experience
being back home with God and hence are no longer an orphan of Life. This
is the well-known end-orphan (endorphin) effect.
Yes, it is. Who are you to say it ain't?
Remember to keep your Clown Chakra wide open.
Seriousness is the leading cause of Reincarnation.
10 NEW COMMANDMENTS by SWAMI BEYONDANANDA'S
GUIDELINES FOR ENLIGHTENMENT
1. Be a Fundamentalist--make sure the Fun always comes before the
mental. Realise that life is a situation comedy that will never be cancelled. A
laugh track has been provided, and the reason why we are put in the
material world is to get funnier material. Have a good laughsitive twice a day
to ensure regularhilarity.
2. Remember that each of us has been given a Special Gift, just for
entering--so you are already a Winner!
3. The most powerful tool on the planet today is Tell-A-Vision. That is
where I tell a vision to you and you tell a vision to me. That way, if we don't
like the programming we're getting, we can simply change the channel.
4. Life is like photography. You use the negative to develop. And, no matter
what adversity you face, be reassured: Of course God loves you - He's just
not ready to make a commitment.
5. It is true. As we go through life thinking heavy thoughts, thought particles
tend to get caught between the ears, causing a condition called truth decay.
So be sure to use mental floss twice a day. And when you're tempted to
practice tantrum yoga, remember what we teach in Swami's Absurdiveness
Training class: "Don't get even, get odd."
6. If we want world peace, we must let go of our attachments and truly live
like nomads. That's where I no mad at you, you no mad at me. That way,
there'll surely be nomadness on the planet. And peace begins with each of
us. A little peace here, a little peace there, pretty soon all the peaces will fit
together to make one big peace everywhere.
7. I know great earth changes have been predicted for the future, so if
you're looking to avoid earthquakes, my advice is simple. When you find a
fault, just don't dwell on it.
8. There's no need to change the world. All we have to do is toilet train the
world, and we'll never have to change it again.
9. If you're looking to find the key to the Universe, I have some bad news
and some good news. The bad news is - There is no key to the Universe.
The good news is - It has been left unlocked.
10. Finally, everything I have told you is channeled. That way, if you don't
like it, it's not my fault. And remember, enlightenment is not a bureaucracy.
So, we don't have to go through channels.
PLEASE BELIEVE ME—DO NOT BELIEVE IN ME
Swami Beyondananda www.wakeuplaughing.com/
Steve Bhaerman is an internationally known author, humorist, and workshop
leader. For the past 18 years, he has written and performed as Swami
Beyondananda, the “Cosmic Comic.” Swami’s comedy has been called
“irreverently uplifting” and has been described both as “comedy disguised as
wisdom” and “wisdom disguised as comedy.”
Very Serious Clown Scientists have found that your most serious problems
are rooted in the terribly serious condition identified as: Seriousness.
Seriousness is the leading cause of everything from constipation to cancer to
karma.
Scientists from the Clown Academy have also discovered a new source of
Healing. It is a powerful psychic energy point located between your Heart
Chakra and Throat Chakra. It is called the Clown Chakra.
If you are feeling miserable, if you have financial problems, if your
relationship is the pits, if you are in ill health, if you have a burning need to
sue people, if you always find fault with others, then obviously, your Clown
Chakra is clogged. When this happens, a high-powered microscope reveals
that the cells of every organ display a sad face, and when the Clown Chakra
is open and functioning normally, your cells display a happy face.
The Scientists also discovered that most disease is due to the fact that cells
are out of ease or dis-eased. When you feel ill, it is often because your mind
has projected guilt onto the cells of your body and has forced out the Love
that is naturally found within each cell of your body. The cells are saying, "I
Lack Love," or "ILL" for short.
When light enters darkness, the darkness is gone. When the Clown Chakra
is opened and working (or rather, playing) properly, the psychic mechanism
sucks up misery, pain, anger, resentment, grievances, unhappiness, etc., and
transforms the energy into tiny red heart-shaped balloons. The red heart-
shaped balloons contain God's most nourishing Love and Joy. These in-
riched balloons are directed to the dis-eased cell or situation, and a happy
face appears instantly.
These red heart-shaped balloons are called endorphins, due to the fact that
when you experience them, the feelings of separation ends. You experience
being back home with God and hence are no longer an orphan of Life. This
is the well-known end-orphan (endorphin) effect.
Yes, it is. Who are you to say it ain't?
Remember to keep your Clown Chakra wide open.
Seriousness is the leading cause of Reincarnation.
10 NEW COMMANDMENTS by SWAMI BEYONDANANDA'S
GUIDELINES FOR ENLIGHTENMENT
1. Be a Fundamentalist--make sure the Fun always comes before the
mental. Realise that life is a situation comedy that will never be cancelled. A
laugh track has been provided, and the reason why we are put in the
material world is to get funnier material. Have a good laughsitive twice a day
to ensure regularhilarity.
2. Remember that each of us has been given a Special Gift, just for
entering--so you are already a Winner!
3. The most powerful tool on the planet today is Tell-A-Vision. That is
where I tell a vision to you and you tell a vision to me. That way, if we don't
like the programming we're getting, we can simply change the channel.
4. Life is like photography. You use the negative to develop. And, no matter
what adversity you face, be reassured: Of course God loves you - He's just
not ready to make a commitment.
5. It is true. As we go through life thinking heavy thoughts, thought particles
tend to get caught between the ears, causing a condition called truth decay.
So be sure to use mental floss twice a day. And when you're tempted to
practice tantrum yoga, remember what we teach in Swami's Absurdiveness
Training class: "Don't get even, get odd."
6. If we want world peace, we must let go of our attachments and truly live
like nomads. That's where I no mad at you, you no mad at me. That way,
there'll surely be nomadness on the planet. And peace begins with each of
us. A little peace here, a little peace there, pretty soon all the peaces will fit
together to make one big peace everywhere.
7. I know great earth changes have been predicted for the future, so if
you're looking to avoid earthquakes, my advice is simple. When you find a
fault, just don't dwell on it.
8. There's no need to change the world. All we have to do is toilet train the
world, and we'll never have to change it again.
9. If you're looking to find the key to the Universe, I have some bad news
and some good news. The bad news is - There is no key to the Universe.
The good news is - It has been left unlocked.
10. Finally, everything I have told you is channeled. That way, if you don't
like it, it's not my fault. And remember, enlightenment is not a bureaucracy.
So, we don't have to go through channels.
PLEASE BELIEVE ME—DO NOT BELIEVE IN ME
Swami Beyondananda www.wakeuplaughing.com/
Steve Bhaerman is an internationally known author, humorist, and workshop
leader. For the past 18 years, he has written and performed as Swami
Beyondananda, the “Cosmic Comic.” Swami’s comedy has been called
“irreverently uplifting” and has been described both as “comedy disguised as
wisdom” and “wisdom disguised as comedy.”
| Heal your heart, Love your body and Claim your Joy! Reinventing Myself by Sonya Green is now available in paperback. Click the book cover to find out more. |
| EBook also available. Instant download for only $8 |
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If you would like to support this site you might consider emailing in suggestions or comments, a small
donation, purchasing a product or visiting the links to our sponsors.
someone who would benefit from visiting these pages - Trust Your Intuition and send them the link.
If you would like to copy an article to your site or blog, you are welcome to do so, but must note copyright
Sonya Green and refer to www.reinventingmyself.com
If you would like to support this site you might consider emailing in suggestions or comments, a small
donation, purchasing a product or visiting the links to our sponsors.