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| Happiness How to increase and maintain Happiness Can Happiness be a Habit? Between the wanting and the getting – Is the living. |
| Heal your Heart - Love your Body - Live your Joy! Simply Stunning! A Profound and Beautiful experience 3 guided meditations on one CD. Access higher wisdom, intuition and insights. Change habits, release fears and activate healing energies. Buy now Click CD's for more info. Read what others say Sound samples and instant downloads |
We may miss so much of our lives simply because we are not paying attention or we are not really present.
Happiness is a present moment experience
A couple of my other favourite quotes illustrating this point are:
Life is what happens while you’re busy making other plans. (John Lennon)
This is not a dress rehearsal. This is your life.
These days will one day become the good old days.
Between the wanting and the getting – Is the living.
We all wait for happy events to come and find us or we sometimes actively seek out things that we believe
will bring us happiness. Winning money, buying a big-ticket item, getting married, having a child, a holiday, a
promotion or finding a new lover are usually considered to be happy events. Many of us spend a great
amount of time, effort and money actively pursuing these things.
Unfortunately these things come with a ‘Happiness Expiry Date’.
Ironically, we often find our happiness list reverses on us at a later date. We then hear, “I’ll be happy when
my divorce comes through, when I retire, when the kids leave home.” The car you once dreamed about
owning is now just a costly mode of transport. Your bride has become your witch, and your home is
cluttered with things you long forgot you even possess.
Happiness is not about Having - Happiness is about Being
We have all heard it before, but we must constantly remind ourselves that happiness comes from within.
This reminds me of a story I once heard which struck a cord with me.
Back in the days of old, there was a widow who worked as the town’s seamstress. She made only a
meagre living from her sewing which was her only source of income. Each day, the widow sat on her front
porch. As the townsfolk passed by they would often stop and chat as she sewed.
One afternoon, the widow was seen on her hands and knees crawling across the front lawn. A local man
rushed up and asked in a concerned voice, “Why are you on your hands and knees?”
The widow explained that she had lost her only needle and without the needle she would be unable to work.
The man decided to get down with her and help her to look for the needle. After a few minutes, he realized
that it was late in the day and soon there would not be enough light to see. He hurried away to find other
people to come and help with the search.
The widow was well liked and respected in the village and soon there was a large group of people joining in
the search. As the sun was about to set, the concerned man asked the widow, “Can you just stop for a
moment and think back to where you last had the needle?”
“Sure,” said the widow “I was sitting inside, at the kitchen table, sewing a fine piece of cloth.”
“Inside?” asked the man.
“Yes, inside!” she repeated.
Not meaning to offend, but being completely flabbergasted, the man exclaimed, “Are you completely mad,
woman?”
She looked at him quizzically and he went on, “If you last had the needle inside the house, then why were
you searching for it outside on the lawn?” and he added, “Why have all of the town’s people searching
outside for what you lost inside?”
The widow took a moment to answer and then stated in a gentle voice, “Sir, I have sat on my porch for
many years. In those years I have engaged in many conversations with most of the townsfolk. I too, have
wondered the same thing, Why is it that you all come to me, looking outside of yourselves, for what you
have lost inside?”
Happiness is internally generated - not externally manufactured
Happiness is not a tonic with a recipe. I cannot give you a list of things to do to guarantee your happiness.
Some people seem to never be happy, no matter what. Yet other people are just filled with joy for the
simplest reasons. Most of the time, I am happy for no particular reason at all other than the fact that I
choose to be.
There are two basic principles that I do consider to be imperative:
Actively pursue, maintain, expand and share your happiness.
Minimize, eliminate and repel unhappiness.
Happiness or unhappiness is usually a habit. There are certain things which always bring me joy, and there
are others that I have learned to repel, as I have learned and paid attention to what works for me and what
doesn’t. You will need to create your own awareness and decide what commitment you are willing to make
to tilt the balance.
The most important aspect of happiness is to choose which thoughts you will entertain and which you will
dismiss.
Health
Your mind, body and spirit are connected. If one is out of balance the others will be affected. Keeping your
body healthy will greatly improve your mental, emotional and spiritual well-being.
Sunshine! It is now official - sunshine not only has physical health benefits, but also greatly affects our
moods. Spend just ten minutes a day outside and have sunshine on your skin. It is also recommended that
you take your sunglasses off and allow light into your eyes.
Other things that I know to bring me happiness:
Meditation allows me to feel a gentle, quiet, centred kind of happiness.
Music can sometimes lift me to a height that is almost blissful.
Love, I have felt so much love at times that I thought my body had become translucent.
I feel a rush of joy when I see my son.
When I smell freshly bathed babies or freshly mown lawn.
I love sunshine on my skin when the weather has been cold and cool breezes when the weather is hot.
I love the smell and feel of the ocean.
Dancing or energetic movement.
Long baths.
Concerts, movies or theatre.
Sitting in parks or gardens.
Driving fast with loud music playing.
Open fires and drinking wine with great people.
Comedy, especially if it is clever as well as funny.
Good food.
Sex.
Spending time with people I love.
Physical and emotional attraction and chemistry.
Thrill seeking – like parachute jumps or rapid rafting.
This is only a small list of things that I find bring me happiness. Many things can bring me happiness. It’s
good to be aware of your list, as there are some days when you really do need to reach out and grab
something. The secret though, is to practice being happy without stimulation.
Eliminate what you hate
This is going to sound a little obvious, but it’s amazing when you get down to it just how much grief you may
be hanging onto without ever giving it any serious thought at all. How much of your time, emotion and
energy do you waste on maintaining things that make you unhappy?
Some people spend their entire working life in jobs that are almost soul-destroying. Many people stay in
relationships that are physically, mentally and emotionally draining. We may have friends, colleagues,
neighbours or relatives that simply, ‘drive us crazy’ and yet we maintain them. Some people hold on to
addictions or habits that time and again bring about the same destructive outcome, yet they still go around
and around repeating the cycle over and over. If you are serious about increasing your happiness level, then
you must first define what makes you unhappy and take action to eliminate it.
Being unhappy robs us of our health by depleting our energy
Love and happiness are the highest and lightest forms of energy. This higher, lighter form of energy is self-
generating. Unhappiness robs us of energy. If left unchecked it will lead to depression and tiredness. Your
energy level is a great way to measure your happiness or your stress level. It also gives you an accurate
indication of your overall health. Happiness and love will fill you with energy. A good supply of energy will
bring you more joy.
For me, the highest state of happiness is the state of being in love. The early, heady days of falling in love
with someone allows us to experience an almost spiritual state of radiance. The world becomes lighter and
brighter, I feel connected to everyone and everything. I am invincible and I feel like I know all of the secrets
of the universe. My body becomes electric and I sense a vibration within me that contains the pulse of the
Universe.
Depression, on the other hand, has us living in shadows. It is like there is a greyness, thickness or heaviness
in the air. Everything and everyone is irritating. The weight within our bodies has us longing to sleep or
retreat. Depression takes away our clarity of thought, motivation and sense of self.
I am making this comparison here to explain how happiness is an energy form. We can’t just fall in love and
maintain that sense of euphoria indefinitely. We can monitor and manipulate our energy, and we can use our
energy as an indicator of what we need to embrace and what we need to eliminate.
I once knew a lady who had an ongoing destructive relationship with her sister-in-law. This sister-in-law
belittled, criticized and sabotaged the lady for many years. The more outrageous the sister-in-law behaved,
the more accommodating and generous the lady tried to be. When I first met her, she explained that she had
suffered anxiety attacks, long periods of depression, was taking medication and seeing a therapist to try and
turn this relationship around.
I asked her why she didn’t just tell the woman to, “Nick off,” and never spend time with her again.
She answered that she, “Couldn’t be confrontational.” she felt that she, “Owed it to her brother to be
friends with his wife,” and she thought that, “She would be unable to be - not nice.”
She also mentioned that the sister-in-law had been a good friend once and had really supported her many
years ago when she needed help. She also believed she owed the sister-in-law, even though that debt had
been paid back a hundred times over.
I explained to her how prolonged stress inhibits the immune system and has been linked to many diseases as
well as depression. She said, “Yes, I know that.”
I asked her, “If someone came to you and said, ‘I’ll be your friend if you allow me to rob you of your joy
for ten years, create depression and anxiety in your life and perhaps even bring on a life threatening disease’
would you accept this arrangement as a worthwhile friendship?”
This may sound ludicrous, but we all do it to some degree. We back down, step away and swallow our
anger, rather than face things head on and say “Enough!”
We must let go of things that cause us grief as soon as we see that we are unable to change the situation.
Someone recently sent me this parable which is a great example of holding on to what hurts us:
An old man is sitting on his front verandah with his old dog fidgeting nearby. Every now and again, the dog
whimpers or lets out a sharp yelp. A passer-by stops and stands quietly, watching, as the old man seems to
ignore the dog. Finally he says to the old man, “What’s wrong with your dog?”
The old man looks at the dog and then back at the passer-by and replies, “He is sitting on a nail.”
“Why doesn’t he move?” the passer-by enquires.
“It mustn’t be hurting enough - yet!” answered the old man.
If it brings your Grief – Make it Brief.
Click the NEXT button to go to Part 2 and 3
Copyright Sonya Green 2006
Happiness is a present moment experience
A couple of my other favourite quotes illustrating this point are:
Life is what happens while you’re busy making other plans. (John Lennon)
This is not a dress rehearsal. This is your life.
These days will one day become the good old days.
Between the wanting and the getting – Is the living.
We all wait for happy events to come and find us or we sometimes actively seek out things that we believe
will bring us happiness. Winning money, buying a big-ticket item, getting married, having a child, a holiday, a
promotion or finding a new lover are usually considered to be happy events. Many of us spend a great
amount of time, effort and money actively pursuing these things.
Unfortunately these things come with a ‘Happiness Expiry Date’.
Ironically, we often find our happiness list reverses on us at a later date. We then hear, “I’ll be happy when
my divorce comes through, when I retire, when the kids leave home.” The car you once dreamed about
owning is now just a costly mode of transport. Your bride has become your witch, and your home is
cluttered with things you long forgot you even possess.
Happiness is not about Having - Happiness is about Being
We have all heard it before, but we must constantly remind ourselves that happiness comes from within.
This reminds me of a story I once heard which struck a cord with me.
Back in the days of old, there was a widow who worked as the town’s seamstress. She made only a
meagre living from her sewing which was her only source of income. Each day, the widow sat on her front
porch. As the townsfolk passed by they would often stop and chat as she sewed.
One afternoon, the widow was seen on her hands and knees crawling across the front lawn. A local man
rushed up and asked in a concerned voice, “Why are you on your hands and knees?”
The widow explained that she had lost her only needle and without the needle she would be unable to work.
The man decided to get down with her and help her to look for the needle. After a few minutes, he realized
that it was late in the day and soon there would not be enough light to see. He hurried away to find other
people to come and help with the search.
The widow was well liked and respected in the village and soon there was a large group of people joining in
the search. As the sun was about to set, the concerned man asked the widow, “Can you just stop for a
moment and think back to where you last had the needle?”
“Sure,” said the widow “I was sitting inside, at the kitchen table, sewing a fine piece of cloth.”
“Inside?” asked the man.
“Yes, inside!” she repeated.
Not meaning to offend, but being completely flabbergasted, the man exclaimed, “Are you completely mad,
woman?”
She looked at him quizzically and he went on, “If you last had the needle inside the house, then why were
you searching for it outside on the lawn?” and he added, “Why have all of the town’s people searching
outside for what you lost inside?”
The widow took a moment to answer and then stated in a gentle voice, “Sir, I have sat on my porch for
many years. In those years I have engaged in many conversations with most of the townsfolk. I too, have
wondered the same thing, Why is it that you all come to me, looking outside of yourselves, for what you
have lost inside?”
Happiness is internally generated - not externally manufactured
Happiness is not a tonic with a recipe. I cannot give you a list of things to do to guarantee your happiness.
Some people seem to never be happy, no matter what. Yet other people are just filled with joy for the
simplest reasons. Most of the time, I am happy for no particular reason at all other than the fact that I
choose to be.
There are two basic principles that I do consider to be imperative:
Actively pursue, maintain, expand and share your happiness.
Minimize, eliminate and repel unhappiness.
Happiness or unhappiness is usually a habit. There are certain things which always bring me joy, and there
are others that I have learned to repel, as I have learned and paid attention to what works for me and what
doesn’t. You will need to create your own awareness and decide what commitment you are willing to make
to tilt the balance.
The most important aspect of happiness is to choose which thoughts you will entertain and which you will
dismiss.
Health
Your mind, body and spirit are connected. If one is out of balance the others will be affected. Keeping your
body healthy will greatly improve your mental, emotional and spiritual well-being.
Sunshine! It is now official - sunshine not only has physical health benefits, but also greatly affects our
moods. Spend just ten minutes a day outside and have sunshine on your skin. It is also recommended that
you take your sunglasses off and allow light into your eyes.
Other things that I know to bring me happiness:
Meditation allows me to feel a gentle, quiet, centred kind of happiness.
Music can sometimes lift me to a height that is almost blissful.
Love, I have felt so much love at times that I thought my body had become translucent.
I feel a rush of joy when I see my son.
When I smell freshly bathed babies or freshly mown lawn.
I love sunshine on my skin when the weather has been cold and cool breezes when the weather is hot.
I love the smell and feel of the ocean.
Dancing or energetic movement.
Long baths.
Concerts, movies or theatre.
Sitting in parks or gardens.
Driving fast with loud music playing.
Open fires and drinking wine with great people.
Comedy, especially if it is clever as well as funny.
Good food.
Sex.
Spending time with people I love.
Physical and emotional attraction and chemistry.
Thrill seeking – like parachute jumps or rapid rafting.
This is only a small list of things that I find bring me happiness. Many things can bring me happiness. It’s
good to be aware of your list, as there are some days when you really do need to reach out and grab
something. The secret though, is to practice being happy without stimulation.
Eliminate what you hate
This is going to sound a little obvious, but it’s amazing when you get down to it just how much grief you may
be hanging onto without ever giving it any serious thought at all. How much of your time, emotion and
energy do you waste on maintaining things that make you unhappy?
Some people spend their entire working life in jobs that are almost soul-destroying. Many people stay in
relationships that are physically, mentally and emotionally draining. We may have friends, colleagues,
neighbours or relatives that simply, ‘drive us crazy’ and yet we maintain them. Some people hold on to
addictions or habits that time and again bring about the same destructive outcome, yet they still go around
and around repeating the cycle over and over. If you are serious about increasing your happiness level, then
you must first define what makes you unhappy and take action to eliminate it.
Being unhappy robs us of our health by depleting our energy
Love and happiness are the highest and lightest forms of energy. This higher, lighter form of energy is self-
generating. Unhappiness robs us of energy. If left unchecked it will lead to depression and tiredness. Your
energy level is a great way to measure your happiness or your stress level. It also gives you an accurate
indication of your overall health. Happiness and love will fill you with energy. A good supply of energy will
bring you more joy.
For me, the highest state of happiness is the state of being in love. The early, heady days of falling in love
with someone allows us to experience an almost spiritual state of radiance. The world becomes lighter and
brighter, I feel connected to everyone and everything. I am invincible and I feel like I know all of the secrets
of the universe. My body becomes electric and I sense a vibration within me that contains the pulse of the
Universe.
Depression, on the other hand, has us living in shadows. It is like there is a greyness, thickness or heaviness
in the air. Everything and everyone is irritating. The weight within our bodies has us longing to sleep or
retreat. Depression takes away our clarity of thought, motivation and sense of self.
I am making this comparison here to explain how happiness is an energy form. We can’t just fall in love and
maintain that sense of euphoria indefinitely. We can monitor and manipulate our energy, and we can use our
energy as an indicator of what we need to embrace and what we need to eliminate.
I once knew a lady who had an ongoing destructive relationship with her sister-in-law. This sister-in-law
belittled, criticized and sabotaged the lady for many years. The more outrageous the sister-in-law behaved,
the more accommodating and generous the lady tried to be. When I first met her, she explained that she had
suffered anxiety attacks, long periods of depression, was taking medication and seeing a therapist to try and
turn this relationship around.
I asked her why she didn’t just tell the woman to, “Nick off,” and never spend time with her again.
She answered that she, “Couldn’t be confrontational.” she felt that she, “Owed it to her brother to be
friends with his wife,” and she thought that, “She would be unable to be - not nice.”
She also mentioned that the sister-in-law had been a good friend once and had really supported her many
years ago when she needed help. She also believed she owed the sister-in-law, even though that debt had
been paid back a hundred times over.
I explained to her how prolonged stress inhibits the immune system and has been linked to many diseases as
well as depression. She said, “Yes, I know that.”
I asked her, “If someone came to you and said, ‘I’ll be your friend if you allow me to rob you of your joy
for ten years, create depression and anxiety in your life and perhaps even bring on a life threatening disease’
would you accept this arrangement as a worthwhile friendship?”
This may sound ludicrous, but we all do it to some degree. We back down, step away and swallow our
anger, rather than face things head on and say “Enough!”
We must let go of things that cause us grief as soon as we see that we are unable to change the situation.
Someone recently sent me this parable which is a great example of holding on to what hurts us:
An old man is sitting on his front verandah with his old dog fidgeting nearby. Every now and again, the dog
whimpers or lets out a sharp yelp. A passer-by stops and stands quietly, watching, as the old man seems to
ignore the dog. Finally he says to the old man, “What’s wrong with your dog?”
The old man looks at the dog and then back at the passer-by and replies, “He is sitting on a nail.”
“Why doesn’t he move?” the passer-by enquires.
“It mustn’t be hurting enough - yet!” answered the old man.
If it brings your Grief – Make it Brief.
Click the NEXT button to go to Part 2 and 3
Copyright Sonya Green 2006
| Heal your Heart, Love your Body and Live in Joy! Now available in paperback. Click the book cover to find out more. Paypal secure payment. |
| If you feel this website has inspired you or resonated with you or if you found yourself thinking about someone who would benefit from visiting these pages - Trust Your Intuition and send them the link. If you would like to copy an article to your site or blog, you are welcome to do so, but must note copyright Sonya Green and refer to www.reinventingmyself.com If you would like to support this site you might consider emailing in suggestions or comments, a small donation, purchasing a product or visiting the links to our sponsors. |
Deliberate Happiness
Health and happiness are the two things that most people will tell you that they
desire the most. Ask a parent what they want most for their child and they will
almost always say, “I really don’t care, as long as they are healthy and happy.”
Sometimes, people say that they want love, success and wealth, but when
asked why, they think for a moment and then say because these things would
make them happy.
Often, people desire health above all else, but only when they feel that it is
threatened. People rarely think about health when they are young, fit and pain
or disease free.
The single most sought after life experience is happiness.
If you made a list of the things that you wished for to improve your life, then
added notes alongside each item, detailing the amount of time and effort you
were putting into each one, you would probably be greatly surprised at the
lack of logic and or commitment that you are applying to increasing or
maintaining your happiness.
You may have happiness as the thing you most desire, but your notes may
reveal that you spend 50 hours a week at your career, 10 hours housekeeping
and 20 hours watching television. Next to the word happiness you may find 10
minutes or, more likely, no time at all.
Have you ever even stopped to think about what it is that makes you happy.
Has it ever dawned on you to actively pursue happiness. Most of us simply
consider happiness to be a random act that catches us fleetingly and
disappears all too soon.
Happiness has fascinated me my entire life. I constantly seek it and play with it.
I’m getting better at prolonging it and faster at recognizing it.
Honestly, sometimes I just sit and focus on happiness until, ‘I bring it on’.
It takes a little concentration, sometimes memory and sometimes imagination.
Practice and focus have resulted in my ability to simply decide to be happy and
I remind myself to do this often. I used to wait and be surprised and delighted
when something caused me to be happy, until I realized that I could actually
attain happiness regardless of any event or situation.
When happiness comes accidentally it entices us to be in the moment. Most of
us are mentally in a perpetual state of being in the past or future most of the
time. In happiness, we pull our attention into the present moment to fully
experience this great feeling. I mention this, as I know that the most essential
requirement for happiness is to practice, ‘Living in the present moment’.
Many years ago, I passed a book shop and saw the title of a book that I
thought was brilliant. I don’t remember much about the book, but I often think
of the title, as it reminds me how easy it is to be caught up in mundane things
and be completely oblivious to the events in our lives.
The title was: The Geranium on the Windowsill Just Died and the Teacher
Kept Right on Talking. (Albert Collum and Gerard Filly)
Health and happiness are the two things that most people will tell you that they
desire the most. Ask a parent what they want most for their child and they will
almost always say, “I really don’t care, as long as they are healthy and happy.”
Sometimes, people say that they want love, success and wealth, but when
asked why, they think for a moment and then say because these things would
make them happy.
Often, people desire health above all else, but only when they feel that it is
threatened. People rarely think about health when they are young, fit and pain
or disease free.
The single most sought after life experience is happiness.
If you made a list of the things that you wished for to improve your life, then
added notes alongside each item, detailing the amount of time and effort you
were putting into each one, you would probably be greatly surprised at the
lack of logic and or commitment that you are applying to increasing or
maintaining your happiness.
You may have happiness as the thing you most desire, but your notes may
reveal that you spend 50 hours a week at your career, 10 hours housekeeping
and 20 hours watching television. Next to the word happiness you may find 10
minutes or, more likely, no time at all.
Have you ever even stopped to think about what it is that makes you happy.
Has it ever dawned on you to actively pursue happiness. Most of us simply
consider happiness to be a random act that catches us fleetingly and
disappears all too soon.
Happiness has fascinated me my entire life. I constantly seek it and play with it.
I’m getting better at prolonging it and faster at recognizing it.
Honestly, sometimes I just sit and focus on happiness until, ‘I bring it on’.
It takes a little concentration, sometimes memory and sometimes imagination.
Practice and focus have resulted in my ability to simply decide to be happy and
I remind myself to do this often. I used to wait and be surprised and delighted
when something caused me to be happy, until I realized that I could actually
attain happiness regardless of any event or situation.
When happiness comes accidentally it entices us to be in the moment. Most of
us are mentally in a perpetual state of being in the past or future most of the
time. In happiness, we pull our attention into the present moment to fully
experience this great feeling. I mention this, as I know that the most essential
requirement for happiness is to practice, ‘Living in the present moment’.
Many years ago, I passed a book shop and saw the title of a book that I
thought was brilliant. I don’t remember much about the book, but I often think
of the title, as it reminds me how easy it is to be caught up in mundane things
and be completely oblivious to the events in our lives.
The title was: The Geranium on the Windowsill Just Died and the Teacher
Kept Right on Talking. (Albert Collum and Gerard Filly)
| These articles are now available in paperback. Click the book cover to find out more. Paypal secure payment. |
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