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| Happiness (part 2 of 3 ) Overcome negativity Tips for happiness Fear and insecurity - will rob your joy |
| Heal your Heart - Love your Body - Live your Joy! Simply Stunning! A Profound and Beautiful experience 3 guided meditations on one CD. Access higher wisdom, intuition and insights. Change habits, release fears and activate healing energies. Buy now Click CD's for more info. Read what others say Sound samples and instant downloads |
Perception
Increasing or creating happiness will require a good amount of questioning
and exploring how you perceive yourself and the world around you. Many of
our beliefs are false, many have been initiated by conditioning and most
are influenced or perpetuated by society and the media. Reinventing
yourself can only occur when you peel away the layers and examine the
integrity and accuracy of your belief system.
We may believe that reality is the same for everyone and that we are all
functioning on similar levels. We are not. Life is unique to each of us. Our
personal worlds are a composite of how we perceive our world, our lives
and ourselves.
Is the glass half full or half empty?
A friend of mine was laughing the other day about some guy who told her,
“She looked like a caricature of herself.” Now, she is a pretty funny looking
lady and most of her features are a bit unsymmetrical. She is the most
delightful person you can imagine; brilliant and warm and loved by anyone
who ever took the time to know her. She is also one of the happiest people I
have ever met. She knows that she’s no stunner and has long since come
to terms with that. Most importantly though, she has never defined herself
by her looks and ane who knows her, very quickly forgets her looks as well.
For her, it is just a non-issue because she doesn’t perceive herself as
unattractive.
I have also known people who have not left the house because they had a
pimple or were feeling fat. I’m sure the term ‘bad hair day’ really did
originate from someone whose day was totally spoiled due to their hair not
quite sitting right.
These days, it is rare for me to speak with a person without hearing
something along the lines of, ‘The world is in such a mess’. Most commonly,
I hear people refer to crime, poverty, violence, the economy, greed,
disease and war. It is very easy to believe that the world is a hostile place,
not because it is, but because we perceive it to be. Understandably, we are
greatly influenced by these messages because of their repetition. Our
movies, music, and just our constant obsession and focus seems to be
predominately negative.
Every day billions and billions of events occur. Some are atrocious and
horrendous, most are probably ordinary, but many are spectacularly
fabulous. Just for one moment, consider this last week and your many
events and then back track the last month and year.
How many times were you robbed, assaulted, bankrupt or diseased? How
many of your bodily functions are not working today compared to how many
that are working perfectly? How many meals did you miss out on compared
to how many times you ate? Did you laugh and love more this week than
you cried? The most important question here is, “What did you complain
about and what did you give gratitude for?”
Do you exaggerate and prolong negativity?
If someone made an off-hand remark about you and your feelings were
hurt, would you, ‘stew’ about it for a few minutes? Would you have an ‘in
head’ argument with that friend for a few hours? Would you bring it up with
a third person and have a real ‘bitch session’ about the person who made
the comment? Would you bide your time and ‘get her back’ with some
sarcastic remark at a later date?
What if someone said something nice about you? Would you play a
compliment over and over in your head, tell others about the praise or look
for an opportunity to repay the compliment at a later date? Do you obsess
about the great things that happen?
Do you invest your time and energy in negative or positive imaginings? The
answer to this question will give you an insight into your perception.
Fear and insecurity
The greatest impediments to happiness are fear and insecurity. We are
obsessed with preparing ourselves and predicting negative outcomes. It is
impossible to become consistently happy if our minds are habitually
focused on harm. Fear is such a debilitating disease. It robs all of us of
most of our joy and energy. Behind the facade of many of us is a relentless
insecurity that blocks us at every turn. Of course I’m not talking about
appropriate fear here. I’m addressing our habitually negative response to
almost every situation that we may encounter.
Young children feel very comfortable within their own skin. They are
creative, adventurous, joyful and content. They express their needs and
expect them to be met. They all feel equal and expect the world to support
them. They do not carry grudges nor do they feel unworthy or unlovable if
things don’t go their way.
When they fall down they simply get back up again. The world is a great big
playground and their view of the world is that its purpose is to entertain and
support them.
Parents obviously need to protect their children and teach them about real
dangers. Children do need to be prepared, educated and equipped to deal
with dangers. But, do they need to have the life force completely sucked
out of them with an incessant, hypnotic barrage of warnings? Do they
constantly need to be pre-empting ugliness and hostility every minute of
every day? Is life simply a matter of walking through land mines until
ultimately they are blown away?
It seems to me, that we are all so insecure and afraid most of the time. Just
now scan your own body and notice if your bum is clenched, shoulders
tight, eyes tensed. Can you feel yourself holding your body tight? Hey, you
are only reading, why are you preparing for an attack? Stretch, breathe
and loosen up a bit.
Even now, I need to challenge my mother about her constant warnings.
Looking out for me has become a way of life for her. It is almost impossible
for her to have a conversation with me without giving me some ‘Good
Advice’. For some reason, she seems to believe that loving and caring
about me is equal to the warnings she extols upon me or the amount of
worry she personally endures on my behalf. Just the other day, she called
out to me to ‘take a coat or you will catch a cold’. Recently, she has also
advised me to not travel overseas as planes get hijacked – all of the time.
She’s warned me about mad cow disease, bankcard fraud, bird flu, Internet
predators, date rape and of course, the ever constant ‘Armageddon’
approaching. She is also still convinced that sitting on the step will give me
piles!
It seems to me that almost everyday, someone is letting us know what is
going to destroy us. And we take it all in, perhaps not consciously, but we
not only hear the warnings, we also carry them forward and just for the
sake of conversation we find ourselves passing them on. Most people
rationalize this as being informed, prepared or educated. Many, like my
mother, also think that their message of doom and gloom is based on
caring and loving. Our childhoods are jungles filled with predators. Sadly,
before we even challenge the validity of it, we find that we have absorbed
so much of it that we reach adulthood completely brainwashed into
expecting harm and hostility from all corners.
May I just go on record right now as begging you to all stop caring about
me so much? Your advice is like poison to me and it is killing me!
We are creating and maintaining a hostile environment, a deep-seated
belief system that the world is bad, people are bad and the best we can
hope for is to stay breathing as long as we can. The thought of actively
pursuing happiness seems frivolous and unattainable, perhaps even
impossible.
It’s very scary if you consider that we get what we give out or that we attract
what we expect.
Lighten up
Gosh, we have become so serious haven’t we, all grown up and
responsible? Education and earning the big bucks are the way to go these
days. We all look down at the poor suckers who sweep our streets or pack
our groceries. How badly done by are the poor women who have to share a
bathroom with other family members or drive a car more than five years old.
Yes, and it’s a real embarrassment if the kids didn’t complete University. Not
as embarrassing though as having a facial wrinkle or grey hair or saggy
breasts.
Well, yeah, it’s really hard to be happy these days. Look at all of the things
that you need to do and be and have. Obviously, no one is going to be
happy if they don’t measure equally with every one else.
Yeah, I do believe that one day I will be happy. I think it will be when…
Maxine – The Drama Queen
I think we have all met a Maxine. Drama Queens always hold the starring
role in their movies. These people have perfected the habit of having
problems, exaggerating them and then enlisting us to play into the drama.
They manipulate us by soaking in a vast amount of our energy and leave
us with a sense that we must somehow fix their problems. Maxine’s steal the
spotlight. When we have become completely exhausted by them, they
quickly move on to a new audience or a new drama.
Could it be that we have a little Maxine within us all? Dramas do get us a
little more attention and support. Is it possible that we exaggerate our little
problems or prolong them to help us feel more important or to gain a little
attention?
You probably said, no or not really, but if you think about how we obsess
about the negatives in our lives, you may just find that most of your worries
are nothing more than exaggerating and prolonging your little dramas.
If you thought you might lose your job, would your thoughts be about debts
and unemployment or would you start planning ways of finding the job of
your dreams?
When you feel unwell, do you think about cancer or a common cold?
Do you believe you are going to get old and decrepit or do you believe that
science will have cures for most diseases before you get there?
Do you believe that the world will become worse or better within the next
twenty years?
Will your life be happier in ten years or will you just be ten years older?
Where is your focus and what is is your perception? Almost every terrible
thing that ever happened to you only happened in your imagination. Just
think back over the last year and remind yourself of the things that had you
tossing and turning in bed at night. Try and recall all of the things that really
had you worried, scared or upset. How many actually happened? And of
the ones that did happen, how many were anywhere nearly as bad as you
had imagined?
Stepping out and stepping up
We all desperately cling to what is comfortable. Comfort zones are tried and
tested, they are usually safe and unchallenging and we don’t need to keep
thinking about them. We really are creatures of habit. When a habit
becomes comfortable we feel safe.
In many instances our comfort zones are not safe, nor healthy nor
enjoyable. They can often be the source of most of our problems. Even
comfortable slippers have their day and must be replaced eventually. It is
easy to maintain dysfunctional relationships or stay too long in boring jobs
for no reason other than the comfort factor.
To improve your life, you will need to change your life. You will need to do
new things, in new ways, with new people or in new environments. The
higher you reach, the less comfortable you will feel. Success is risky
business.
Letting go of your comfort may make you feel vulnerable. The desire to
hang on will be great. Change requires that you be both brave and bold.
Everyone fears failure, but when we look at what we perceive failure to be,
it is just a matter of trying something and finding that it doesn’t quite work.
Underlying the fear of failure is a very familiar and ugly face - it is
humiliation...
Click the NEXT button for Part 3.
Copyright Sonya Green
Increasing or creating happiness will require a good amount of questioning
and exploring how you perceive yourself and the world around you. Many of
our beliefs are false, many have been initiated by conditioning and most
are influenced or perpetuated by society and the media. Reinventing
yourself can only occur when you peel away the layers and examine the
integrity and accuracy of your belief system.
We may believe that reality is the same for everyone and that we are all
functioning on similar levels. We are not. Life is unique to each of us. Our
personal worlds are a composite of how we perceive our world, our lives
and ourselves.
Is the glass half full or half empty?
A friend of mine was laughing the other day about some guy who told her,
“She looked like a caricature of herself.” Now, she is a pretty funny looking
lady and most of her features are a bit unsymmetrical. She is the most
delightful person you can imagine; brilliant and warm and loved by anyone
who ever took the time to know her. She is also one of the happiest people I
have ever met. She knows that she’s no stunner and has long since come
to terms with that. Most importantly though, she has never defined herself
by her looks and ane who knows her, very quickly forgets her looks as well.
For her, it is just a non-issue because she doesn’t perceive herself as
unattractive.
I have also known people who have not left the house because they had a
pimple or were feeling fat. I’m sure the term ‘bad hair day’ really did
originate from someone whose day was totally spoiled due to their hair not
quite sitting right.
These days, it is rare for me to speak with a person without hearing
something along the lines of, ‘The world is in such a mess’. Most commonly,
I hear people refer to crime, poverty, violence, the economy, greed,
disease and war. It is very easy to believe that the world is a hostile place,
not because it is, but because we perceive it to be. Understandably, we are
greatly influenced by these messages because of their repetition. Our
movies, music, and just our constant obsession and focus seems to be
predominately negative.
Every day billions and billions of events occur. Some are atrocious and
horrendous, most are probably ordinary, but many are spectacularly
fabulous. Just for one moment, consider this last week and your many
events and then back track the last month and year.
How many times were you robbed, assaulted, bankrupt or diseased? How
many of your bodily functions are not working today compared to how many
that are working perfectly? How many meals did you miss out on compared
to how many times you ate? Did you laugh and love more this week than
you cried? The most important question here is, “What did you complain
about and what did you give gratitude for?”
Do you exaggerate and prolong negativity?
If someone made an off-hand remark about you and your feelings were
hurt, would you, ‘stew’ about it for a few minutes? Would you have an ‘in
head’ argument with that friend for a few hours? Would you bring it up with
a third person and have a real ‘bitch session’ about the person who made
the comment? Would you bide your time and ‘get her back’ with some
sarcastic remark at a later date?
What if someone said something nice about you? Would you play a
compliment over and over in your head, tell others about the praise or look
for an opportunity to repay the compliment at a later date? Do you obsess
about the great things that happen?
Do you invest your time and energy in negative or positive imaginings? The
answer to this question will give you an insight into your perception.
Fear and insecurity
The greatest impediments to happiness are fear and insecurity. We are
obsessed with preparing ourselves and predicting negative outcomes. It is
impossible to become consistently happy if our minds are habitually
focused on harm. Fear is such a debilitating disease. It robs all of us of
most of our joy and energy. Behind the facade of many of us is a relentless
insecurity that blocks us at every turn. Of course I’m not talking about
appropriate fear here. I’m addressing our habitually negative response to
almost every situation that we may encounter.
Young children feel very comfortable within their own skin. They are
creative, adventurous, joyful and content. They express their needs and
expect them to be met. They all feel equal and expect the world to support
them. They do not carry grudges nor do they feel unworthy or unlovable if
things don’t go their way.
When they fall down they simply get back up again. The world is a great big
playground and their view of the world is that its purpose is to entertain and
support them.
Parents obviously need to protect their children and teach them about real
dangers. Children do need to be prepared, educated and equipped to deal
with dangers. But, do they need to have the life force completely sucked
out of them with an incessant, hypnotic barrage of warnings? Do they
constantly need to be pre-empting ugliness and hostility every minute of
every day? Is life simply a matter of walking through land mines until
ultimately they are blown away?
It seems to me, that we are all so insecure and afraid most of the time. Just
now scan your own body and notice if your bum is clenched, shoulders
tight, eyes tensed. Can you feel yourself holding your body tight? Hey, you
are only reading, why are you preparing for an attack? Stretch, breathe
and loosen up a bit.
Even now, I need to challenge my mother about her constant warnings.
Looking out for me has become a way of life for her. It is almost impossible
for her to have a conversation with me without giving me some ‘Good
Advice’. For some reason, she seems to believe that loving and caring
about me is equal to the warnings she extols upon me or the amount of
worry she personally endures on my behalf. Just the other day, she called
out to me to ‘take a coat or you will catch a cold’. Recently, she has also
advised me to not travel overseas as planes get hijacked – all of the time.
She’s warned me about mad cow disease, bankcard fraud, bird flu, Internet
predators, date rape and of course, the ever constant ‘Armageddon’
approaching. She is also still convinced that sitting on the step will give me
piles!
It seems to me that almost everyday, someone is letting us know what is
going to destroy us. And we take it all in, perhaps not consciously, but we
not only hear the warnings, we also carry them forward and just for the
sake of conversation we find ourselves passing them on. Most people
rationalize this as being informed, prepared or educated. Many, like my
mother, also think that their message of doom and gloom is based on
caring and loving. Our childhoods are jungles filled with predators. Sadly,
before we even challenge the validity of it, we find that we have absorbed
so much of it that we reach adulthood completely brainwashed into
expecting harm and hostility from all corners.
May I just go on record right now as begging you to all stop caring about
me so much? Your advice is like poison to me and it is killing me!
We are creating and maintaining a hostile environment, a deep-seated
belief system that the world is bad, people are bad and the best we can
hope for is to stay breathing as long as we can. The thought of actively
pursuing happiness seems frivolous and unattainable, perhaps even
impossible.
It’s very scary if you consider that we get what we give out or that we attract
what we expect.
Lighten up
Gosh, we have become so serious haven’t we, all grown up and
responsible? Education and earning the big bucks are the way to go these
days. We all look down at the poor suckers who sweep our streets or pack
our groceries. How badly done by are the poor women who have to share a
bathroom with other family members or drive a car more than five years old.
Yes, and it’s a real embarrassment if the kids didn’t complete University. Not
as embarrassing though as having a facial wrinkle or grey hair or saggy
breasts.
Well, yeah, it’s really hard to be happy these days. Look at all of the things
that you need to do and be and have. Obviously, no one is going to be
happy if they don’t measure equally with every one else.
Yeah, I do believe that one day I will be happy. I think it will be when…
Maxine – The Drama Queen
I think we have all met a Maxine. Drama Queens always hold the starring
role in their movies. These people have perfected the habit of having
problems, exaggerating them and then enlisting us to play into the drama.
They manipulate us by soaking in a vast amount of our energy and leave
us with a sense that we must somehow fix their problems. Maxine’s steal the
spotlight. When we have become completely exhausted by them, they
quickly move on to a new audience or a new drama.
Could it be that we have a little Maxine within us all? Dramas do get us a
little more attention and support. Is it possible that we exaggerate our little
problems or prolong them to help us feel more important or to gain a little
attention?
You probably said, no or not really, but if you think about how we obsess
about the negatives in our lives, you may just find that most of your worries
are nothing more than exaggerating and prolonging your little dramas.
If you thought you might lose your job, would your thoughts be about debts
and unemployment or would you start planning ways of finding the job of
your dreams?
When you feel unwell, do you think about cancer or a common cold?
Do you believe you are going to get old and decrepit or do you believe that
science will have cures for most diseases before you get there?
Do you believe that the world will become worse or better within the next
twenty years?
Will your life be happier in ten years or will you just be ten years older?
Where is your focus and what is is your perception? Almost every terrible
thing that ever happened to you only happened in your imagination. Just
think back over the last year and remind yourself of the things that had you
tossing and turning in bed at night. Try and recall all of the things that really
had you worried, scared or upset. How many actually happened? And of
the ones that did happen, how many were anywhere nearly as bad as you
had imagined?
Stepping out and stepping up
We all desperately cling to what is comfortable. Comfort zones are tried and
tested, they are usually safe and unchallenging and we don’t need to keep
thinking about them. We really are creatures of habit. When a habit
becomes comfortable we feel safe.
In many instances our comfort zones are not safe, nor healthy nor
enjoyable. They can often be the source of most of our problems. Even
comfortable slippers have their day and must be replaced eventually. It is
easy to maintain dysfunctional relationships or stay too long in boring jobs
for no reason other than the comfort factor.
To improve your life, you will need to change your life. You will need to do
new things, in new ways, with new people or in new environments. The
higher you reach, the less comfortable you will feel. Success is risky
business.
Letting go of your comfort may make you feel vulnerable. The desire to
hang on will be great. Change requires that you be both brave and bold.
Everyone fears failure, but when we look at what we perceive failure to be,
it is just a matter of trying something and finding that it doesn’t quite work.
Underlying the fear of failure is a very familiar and ugly face - it is
humiliation...
Click the NEXT button for Part 3.
Copyright Sonya Green
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If you would like to copy an article to your site or blog, you are welcome to do so, but must note
copyright Sonya Green and refer to www.reinventingmyself.com
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