 |
| |
 |
| |
 |
| |
 |
| |
 |
| |
 |
| |
 |
| |
 |
| |
 |
| |
 |
| |
 |
| |
 |
| |
 |
| |
 |
| |
 |
| |
 |
| |
 |
| |
 |
| |
 |
| |
 |
| |
 |
| |
 |
| |
 |
| |
 |
| |
 |
| |
 |
| |
 |
| |
 |
| |
 |
| |
 |
| |
 |
| |
 |
| |
 |
| |
 |
| |
 |
| |
 |
| |
 |
| |
 |
| |
 |
| |
 |
| How do you get over a heartbreak Getting through Divorce, Separation or Unrequited Love Part 2. |
| Heal your Heart - Love your Body - Live your Joy! Simply Stunning! A beautiful and profound healing experience 3 guided meditations on one CD. Access higher wisdom, intuition and insights. Change emotional habits, release fears and activate healing energies. Buy Now Full description. Read what others say Sound samples and instant downloads |
Loss of love feels like the loss of the soul.
With great determination and commitment, we endeavour to block our thoughts
and physically remove ourselves from our lover. We might burn photos and
pursue new relationships. In practical terms, we do all that we can to control our
physical, emotional and intellectual attachment, but the hardest ties to cut are the
energy cords that connect us. An energy-cord may be a hard concept to accept, it
doesn’t really matter if you accept the term or the concept at all. What you will
relate to, is the feelings or effect of an energy-cord. It’s like the umbilical cord
which connects a mother and child.
When we are very close, both sexually and emotionally with someone, our
energies are exchanged. We think the act of sex is as close as we can get to
another person, but we may not have ever considered that sex and love are two
very powerful energies.
In the initial ‘in love’ stage, you may recall thinking something along the lines of
“He lights me up like a Christmas tree”. You may remember the electricity
between you, or a slight trembling whenever he was near you. Being in love,
produces a sense of lightness, a luminescence or radiance. When someone is in
love, you can see a physical difference in how they look; brighter eyes and
glowing skin. Often they look many years younger, walk taller and appear
energized. This energetic connection is undeniable when expressed sexually. You
feel as if you are breathing your lover into yourself. Every cell in your body feels
more alive and sex seems to be less about body parts and more about the
exchange of some mystical or spiritual essence. In trying to get through
heartbreak, we dismiss, deny or trivialize those feelings.
When we accept that a relationship is over, we use a great deal of mental
determination to shut ourselves off from our feelings. The hardest part, and the
least recognized part, is in cutting or re-calling those energies which still connect
us. The most apparent cord is that of telepathy. Even if you deny that telepathy
exists, you will still experience it: talking to your ex in your head, feeling pulled
into a silent conversation, an eerie stretching of yourself into thoughts that are not
quite formed or defined. Some people find themselves becoming sexually aroused
with no real reason or stimulation. Dreams and images play out as your lover’s
face drifts past.
Cords are like energetic anchors, which hold you together. Sexually, a cord can
have your body craving and aching for your ex, even though you may no longer
have no emotional desire at all. A heart cord may hold you deeply connected by
love, even though you hate him or what he has done. No wonder people feel that
they will go insane; it’s like an electrical short circuit. The mind is filled with
thoughts of hate, revenge and disgust, but the heart and body call out in the night.
Some people may be very aware of it and others may just have a sense of it, but it
is like your soul leaves you and goes in search of your lover.
Heartbreak takes our lives hostage; we find it hard to sleep, we can’t eat or we
over eat and we become physically exhausted and emotionally drained. Mentally,
we become obsessive and irrational. Our behaviour can be erratic and dangerous.
In extreme cases, we may want to kill or die, and in fact, many people have died
because of a broken heart.
Loving someone requires exposing our most sensitive and vulnerable selves. We
allow ourselves to give the best of ourselves – the fragile, secret, private parts of
ourselves. We expose and offer the most valuable part of ourselves. To have this
rejected is to have ourselves deemed unworthy and unlovable. Often, we convince
ourselves that the pain of heartbreak is about the loss of our lover, but the reality
is that we are in pain because someone declared that, “Our love is not valuable”.
At a core level we are love, and our ability to love and be loved is who and what
we really are. To be dismissed on this level is interpreted as, “I am nothing, I do
not exist and most painfully, I am not worthy of love”.
We may not make this connection right away; we may not want to look at it
at all. If it comes down to this, then there is one glaring reality, and that is that
we must believe this is true. Could it be that it is not our lover’s rejection of us
that destroys us, but our own belief that we are unlovable – unworthy –
nothing?
At first, we may only focus on our partner’s behaviour and feel victimized by
a betrayal or lies. We may go through many stages like anger, revenge, guilt,
violence, depression or jealousy. We might feel unattractive, sexually
inadequate, boring or stupid. For many people, it comes down to insisting that
the lover must come back. If he comes back, everything can be reversed, it
can be a big mistake and you can be put back together again.
If we peel away the layers and keep asking ourselves where the pain is
coming from, we find that it is not the opinion of another person that causes
the pain, it is within our acceptance of the opinion.
People have been coming and going throughout your life. You have probably
been in love before and you have probably been hurt by love before. People
leave, you leave, and sometimes it goes smoothly and easily and sometimes it’
s painful or heartbreaking. Love comes in many ways and many degrees; it
can subside and fade away or it can end abruptly and traumatically. People
may have loved you more than you loved them, and you may have even been
loved by someone whom you didn’t even like very much.
I don’t know why it is that we can’t comprehend that:
‘Love is not gathered - it is self generated.’
People do not give you love and they do not take love away from you. You
choose the degree of flow between yourself and another. Someone else’s
love will mean nothing to you unless you choose to accept it. Love is inspired
to radiate from you, you are the source of that love, it is in infinite supply and
its circulation is governed by your choice to give or receive.
The other great misunderstanding is the belief in a “One and only”. This is a
man- made concept, not a natural law. Love is a natural state of being. If we
peel away conditioning and fears and a lifetime of accumulated emotional
baggage, then we would be operating more freely from a place of love most
of the time. The idea that love is only real or valid when it is a partnership
relationship is very, very limited and downright damaging. We become tunnel
visioned and grossly restricted in a belief that there is only one person or one
love available to us. Not only do we expect all of our love to come from only
the one person, but we also expect that they must love us exclusively and
forever.
We change, they change and life changes, but we still insist that love will never
change. We insist on an impossible promise and self-destruct when the
promise is broken. When friends move on we accept it, because we did not
have unrealistic expectations to begin with. Our children grow up and move
on and we encourage it. We don’t take it as a betrayal nor do we interpret it
as rejection of ourselves.
Divorce or separation is devastating for sure. If it is initiated by a cruel act
then it’s natural to feel a great range of negative emotions. If it comes
suddenly or unexpectedly, then it will be a shock and it will take time to come
to terms with it and work through it. It is very confusing and difficult to accept
when you are still there, still in love and still committed, but they are not.
Your life may be impacted right across the board. You will grieve, and all of
your emotions are valid and you will need time to work through them. You
will need to do whatever you need to do to get through it. You will grieve and
you will cry, you may be scared and angry, and you will probably go through
many months of extreme emotional ranges. It will level out. It will become
manageable. At some point it will just be a sad melancholy that floats past on
occasion.
Sometimes though, it lasts forever. If you can’t let go or you won’t let go, it
can overtake your life and leave you cold and bitter- it can destroy you. No
one does this to you - this is a choice. It is a decision to live a tragic life based
on your inability to acknowledge your own beauty and value. The irony here,
of course, is that your rage is still directed at your partner for treating you the
way you now continue to treat yourself.
One person’s ability or inability to love you does not make you any
more or any less than you are.
Your value as a lovable and worthwhile person is not determined by the
opinion of only one other person. Your supply of love, your ability to love, is
not in the control of another person. And your love was never meant to be
restricted, to be exchanged with only one other person.
Overcoming heartbreak will require reclaiming your energy. As tempting as
revenge is and as comforting as hate may appear, they both keep your energy
attached to someone else. You may need to begin by reclaiming your physical
energy; eat well, breathe and move. If you are physically exhausted, your
mind and emotions are harder to control. The mind, body and spirit are all
connected. One will rob the other if one is energy depleted.
Only love can replenish love. Even if you feel you are faking it at first, it is
most important to get back your flow. Be, loving with yourself. Treat yourself
the way he should have treated you. Treat yourself the way you wanted to
treat him.
Acknowledge the love you share with family and friends, and allow that to
expand. Try and stretch loving moments and experiences – take compliments
and kindnesses, imbibe beauty and extend pleasure. Re-call your energy and
bring it back into yourself. Love the lovable and love the worthy.
If you really do believe there is only one love and you are capable of
loving that one person forever – then make that one person - Your
Self.
Copyright Sonya Green
With great determination and commitment, we endeavour to block our thoughts
and physically remove ourselves from our lover. We might burn photos and
pursue new relationships. In practical terms, we do all that we can to control our
physical, emotional and intellectual attachment, but the hardest ties to cut are the
energy cords that connect us. An energy-cord may be a hard concept to accept, it
doesn’t really matter if you accept the term or the concept at all. What you will
relate to, is the feelings or effect of an energy-cord. It’s like the umbilical cord
which connects a mother and child.
When we are very close, both sexually and emotionally with someone, our
energies are exchanged. We think the act of sex is as close as we can get to
another person, but we may not have ever considered that sex and love are two
very powerful energies.
In the initial ‘in love’ stage, you may recall thinking something along the lines of
“He lights me up like a Christmas tree”. You may remember the electricity
between you, or a slight trembling whenever he was near you. Being in love,
produces a sense of lightness, a luminescence or radiance. When someone is in
love, you can see a physical difference in how they look; brighter eyes and
glowing skin. Often they look many years younger, walk taller and appear
energized. This energetic connection is undeniable when expressed sexually. You
feel as if you are breathing your lover into yourself. Every cell in your body feels
more alive and sex seems to be less about body parts and more about the
exchange of some mystical or spiritual essence. In trying to get through
heartbreak, we dismiss, deny or trivialize those feelings.
When we accept that a relationship is over, we use a great deal of mental
determination to shut ourselves off from our feelings. The hardest part, and the
least recognized part, is in cutting or re-calling those energies which still connect
us. The most apparent cord is that of telepathy. Even if you deny that telepathy
exists, you will still experience it: talking to your ex in your head, feeling pulled
into a silent conversation, an eerie stretching of yourself into thoughts that are not
quite formed or defined. Some people find themselves becoming sexually aroused
with no real reason or stimulation. Dreams and images play out as your lover’s
face drifts past.
Cords are like energetic anchors, which hold you together. Sexually, a cord can
have your body craving and aching for your ex, even though you may no longer
have no emotional desire at all. A heart cord may hold you deeply connected by
love, even though you hate him or what he has done. No wonder people feel that
they will go insane; it’s like an electrical short circuit. The mind is filled with
thoughts of hate, revenge and disgust, but the heart and body call out in the night.
Some people may be very aware of it and others may just have a sense of it, but it
is like your soul leaves you and goes in search of your lover.
Heartbreak takes our lives hostage; we find it hard to sleep, we can’t eat or we
over eat and we become physically exhausted and emotionally drained. Mentally,
we become obsessive and irrational. Our behaviour can be erratic and dangerous.
In extreme cases, we may want to kill or die, and in fact, many people have died
because of a broken heart.
Loving someone requires exposing our most sensitive and vulnerable selves. We
allow ourselves to give the best of ourselves – the fragile, secret, private parts of
ourselves. We expose and offer the most valuable part of ourselves. To have this
rejected is to have ourselves deemed unworthy and unlovable. Often, we convince
ourselves that the pain of heartbreak is about the loss of our lover, but the reality
is that we are in pain because someone declared that, “Our love is not valuable”.
At a core level we are love, and our ability to love and be loved is who and what
we really are. To be dismissed on this level is interpreted as, “I am nothing, I do
not exist and most painfully, I am not worthy of love”.
We may not make this connection right away; we may not want to look at it
at all. If it comes down to this, then there is one glaring reality, and that is that
we must believe this is true. Could it be that it is not our lover’s rejection of us
that destroys us, but our own belief that we are unlovable – unworthy –
nothing?
At first, we may only focus on our partner’s behaviour and feel victimized by
a betrayal or lies. We may go through many stages like anger, revenge, guilt,
violence, depression or jealousy. We might feel unattractive, sexually
inadequate, boring or stupid. For many people, it comes down to insisting that
the lover must come back. If he comes back, everything can be reversed, it
can be a big mistake and you can be put back together again.
If we peel away the layers and keep asking ourselves where the pain is
coming from, we find that it is not the opinion of another person that causes
the pain, it is within our acceptance of the opinion.
People have been coming and going throughout your life. You have probably
been in love before and you have probably been hurt by love before. People
leave, you leave, and sometimes it goes smoothly and easily and sometimes it’
s painful or heartbreaking. Love comes in many ways and many degrees; it
can subside and fade away or it can end abruptly and traumatically. People
may have loved you more than you loved them, and you may have even been
loved by someone whom you didn’t even like very much.
I don’t know why it is that we can’t comprehend that:
‘Love is not gathered - it is self generated.’
People do not give you love and they do not take love away from you. You
choose the degree of flow between yourself and another. Someone else’s
love will mean nothing to you unless you choose to accept it. Love is inspired
to radiate from you, you are the source of that love, it is in infinite supply and
its circulation is governed by your choice to give or receive.
The other great misunderstanding is the belief in a “One and only”. This is a
man- made concept, not a natural law. Love is a natural state of being. If we
peel away conditioning and fears and a lifetime of accumulated emotional
baggage, then we would be operating more freely from a place of love most
of the time. The idea that love is only real or valid when it is a partnership
relationship is very, very limited and downright damaging. We become tunnel
visioned and grossly restricted in a belief that there is only one person or one
love available to us. Not only do we expect all of our love to come from only
the one person, but we also expect that they must love us exclusively and
forever.
We change, they change and life changes, but we still insist that love will never
change. We insist on an impossible promise and self-destruct when the
promise is broken. When friends move on we accept it, because we did not
have unrealistic expectations to begin with. Our children grow up and move
on and we encourage it. We don’t take it as a betrayal nor do we interpret it
as rejection of ourselves.
Divorce or separation is devastating for sure. If it is initiated by a cruel act
then it’s natural to feel a great range of negative emotions. If it comes
suddenly or unexpectedly, then it will be a shock and it will take time to come
to terms with it and work through it. It is very confusing and difficult to accept
when you are still there, still in love and still committed, but they are not.
Your life may be impacted right across the board. You will grieve, and all of
your emotions are valid and you will need time to work through them. You
will need to do whatever you need to do to get through it. You will grieve and
you will cry, you may be scared and angry, and you will probably go through
many months of extreme emotional ranges. It will level out. It will become
manageable. At some point it will just be a sad melancholy that floats past on
occasion.
Sometimes though, it lasts forever. If you can’t let go or you won’t let go, it
can overtake your life and leave you cold and bitter- it can destroy you. No
one does this to you - this is a choice. It is a decision to live a tragic life based
on your inability to acknowledge your own beauty and value. The irony here,
of course, is that your rage is still directed at your partner for treating you the
way you now continue to treat yourself.
One person’s ability or inability to love you does not make you any
more or any less than you are.
Your value as a lovable and worthwhile person is not determined by the
opinion of only one other person. Your supply of love, your ability to love, is
not in the control of another person. And your love was never meant to be
restricted, to be exchanged with only one other person.
Overcoming heartbreak will require reclaiming your energy. As tempting as
revenge is and as comforting as hate may appear, they both keep your energy
attached to someone else. You may need to begin by reclaiming your physical
energy; eat well, breathe and move. If you are physically exhausted, your
mind and emotions are harder to control. The mind, body and spirit are all
connected. One will rob the other if one is energy depleted.
Only love can replenish love. Even if you feel you are faking it at first, it is
most important to get back your flow. Be, loving with yourself. Treat yourself
the way he should have treated you. Treat yourself the way you wanted to
treat him.
Acknowledge the love you share with family and friends, and allow that to
expand. Try and stretch loving moments and experiences – take compliments
and kindnesses, imbibe beauty and extend pleasure. Re-call your energy and
bring it back into yourself. Love the lovable and love the worthy.
If you really do believe there is only one love and you are capable of
loving that one person forever – then make that one person - Your
Self.
Copyright Sonya Green
| Heal your Heart, Love your Body and Live you Joy! Now available in paperback. Click the book cover to find out more. Paypal secure payment. |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| EBook also available. Instant download - only $8 |
| If you feel this website has inspired you or resonated with you or if you found yourself thinking about someone who would benefit from visiting these pages - Trust Your Intuition and send them the link. If you would like to copy an article to your site or blog, you are welcome to do so, but must note copyright Sonya Green and refer to www.reinventingmyself.com If you would like to support this site you might consider emailing in suggestions, a small donation, purchasing a product or visiting the links to our sponsors. |
| iTunes Download Now |
