Oprah on relationships
Sisters and Girlfriends
"I'd rather be a failure at something I love than a success at
something I hate." -George Burns
This is a copy of Just Plain Folks Christmas newsletter for 2005
Just Plain Quotes:
"I'd rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I
hate." -George Burns
"Of course there is no formula for success except perhaps an
unconditional acceptance of life and what it brings." -Arthur Rubinstein
"We forget three-fourths of ourselves in order to be like other people."
"There aren't many things more rewarding than a great laugh. How come
we rarely remember that when counting the successes of a year?" -Brian
"A great life is far more than just a highlight reel." -Brian Austin
So here we are near the end of another busy year. A lot of people will
be talking about all the amazing and terrible things that happened in
2005 and all the things they plan or predict for 2006. I'd like to talk
about all the stuff in between that most of us ignore. I'd like to
talk about real life. Instead of focusing on the top 1% of successes or
the worst most tragic 1% of our lives, I think when assessing a year, we
should look at the 98% in the middle. For example:
-How many cool new friends did you meet in 2005? Sure, perhaps you
a "famous person" or perhaps you were screwed over by some real jerk.
But how about the cool band you saw one night playing the late night
slot for 10 drunk people or the bass player you ran into at the local
music store or the songwriter who wrote that lyric you read on a message
board that made you laugh? How about all the people you can think of
right now that you didn't know when 2005 started and how your life
wouldn't be as great or interesting or fun or meaningful if you hadn't met
them? Focus on that for a bit.
-How many times did you laugh in 2005? What caused that? Funny jokes
you heard on the bus? How about times when you laughed til you cried
with coworkers or family about something that came up, but forgot about
the next day? How many funny things did you read or see on TV or hear
on the Radio? There aren't many things better in life than the way you
feel in the middle of a great laugh. How come we rarely reminisce
about that at the end of the year?
-How much time did you get to spend with people you love in 2005? I am
not talking about "events" like weddings or birthdays. How about all
the times you did something normal, but did it with someone who means a
great deal to you? We won't always have those people in our lives.
When they're gone, imagine how much we'll think about those times
Well.. you just had a year full of those times and if you're lucky,
you're getting ready to start a new year of wonderful "normal" times with
people you love. Enjoy it in real time.
-How much time did you spend doing things you like, with or without
success? I am not talking about when you won an award or got a big
gig or signed a publishing deal or received a great review for your
work. I am talking about all the time you got to write music, or rehearse
with your instrument or band mates, or set up and play a gig to any
size audience or work on writing and rewriting your creative lyric?
Accolades are external things that you can't usually control. But you CAN
control and enjoy all that time you spent creating and participating in
the things you love, regardless of whether others recognize or
criticize them later. Isn't it great that your life circumstances allowed you
to enjoy that effort? Aren't you looking forward to doing it again in
-How many days did you feel good and healthy? Those in poor health
quickly learn that simply having a "healthy" day is probably one of the
greatest joys in life. So how many days last year did you feel good
regardless of what else was happening? If you had more good days than
isn't that something to be happy about? Isn't it something to look
forward to in 2006? As all of us age, those days will decrease.
Appreciate them now!
I could list a great deal more examples of how amazing and wonderful
even the most middle of the road life is. We all have ups and down and I
promise in 2006 we'll have great and tragic things happen in our lives.
But while those things get all the "press" I hope that all of you will
contemplate how many wonderful things happen to us on even the most
boring day and how we're all so lucky to have all those things to look
forward to in 2006. I know I will. A great life is far more than just a
highlight/lowlight reel. I know I am looking forward to meeting many
more of you, hearing even more of the music you create and best of all
sharing a laugh with you in person as often as possible. That's the
stuff that REALLY makes a wonderful life.
Learn, Succeed, Thrive. We're All In This Together!
Just Plain Notes!
Written by Brian Austin Whitney
Visit the Website: www.jpfolks.com
WHAT OPRAH HAD TO SAY ABOUT MEN (allegedly said?)
If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.
If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.
Stop making excuses for a man and his behaviour.
Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.
Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that's not meant to be.
Slower is better. Never live your life for a man before you find what
makes you truly happy.
If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you
deserve then heck no, you can't "be friends".
A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend.
Don't settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.
Don't stay because you think "it will get better."
You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not
The only person you can control in a relationship is you.
Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women.
He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he treat you
Always have your own set of friends separate from his.
Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. If something bothers you,
Never let a man know everything.* He will use it against you later.
You cannot change a man's behaviour.* Change comes from within.
Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are... even if he
has more education or in a better job.
Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less.
Never let a man define who you are.
Never borrow someone else's man.
If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.
A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.
All men are NOT dogs.
You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is two way
You need time to heal between relationships...there is nothing cute about
deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship
You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you..
a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals..
look for someone complimentary...not supplementary.
Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right.
Make him miss you sometimes...when a man always know where you are,
and you're always readily available to him - he takes it for granted.
Never move into his mother's house. Never co-sign for a man.
Share this with other women and men (just so they know)... You'll
make someone smile, another rethink her choices, and another woman
They say it takes a minute to find a special person,
an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them and
an entire lifetime to forget them.
Advice from Angel,
Scared of being alone is what makes a lot of women stay in relationships
that are abusive or hurtful :
You should know that you're the best thing that could ever happen to
anyone and if a man mistreats you, he'll miss out on a good thing. If he
was attracted to you in the 1st place, just know that he's not the only
one. They're all watching you, so you have a lot of choices. Make the right
Ladies take care of your own hearts....
Sisters and Girlfriends
A young wife sat on a sofa on a hot humid day, drinking iced
tea and visiting with her mother. As they talked about life, about
marriage, about the responsibilities of life and the obligations of
adulthood, the mother clinked the ice cubes in her glass thoughtfully and
turned a clear, sober glance upon her daughter.
"Don't forget your Sisters," she advised, swirling the tea
leaves to the bottom of her glass. "They'll be more important as you get
older. No matter how much you love your husband, no matter how much
love the children you may have, you are still going to need Sisters.
Remember to go places with them now and then; do things with them.
"Remember that 'Sisters' means ALL the women...your
girlfriends, your daughters, and all your other women relatives too.
"You'll need other women. Women always do."
What a funny piece of advice, the young woman thought. Haven't
I just gotten married? Haven't I just joined the couple-world? I'm now a
married woman, for goodness sake! A grownup! Surely my husband and
family we may start will be all I need to make my life worthwhile!
But she listened to her mother. She kept in contact with her
Sisters and made more women friends each year. As the years tumbled
by,one after another, she gradually came to understand that her Mom
knew what she was talking about. As time and nature work their changes
their mysteries upon a woman, Sisters are the mainstays of her life.
After many years of living in this world, here is what I've learned:
Children grow up.
Jobs come and go.
Love waxes and wanes.
Men don't do what Sisters do.
Colleagues forget favours.
Sisters are there, no matter how much time and how many miles
are between you.
A girlfriend is never farther away than needing her can reach.
When you have to walk that lonesome valley and you have to walk
it by yourself, the women in your life will be on the valley's rim,
cheering you on, praying for you, pulling for you, intervening on your
behalf, and waiting with open arms at the valley's end.
Sometimes, they will even break the rules and walk beside you.
Or come in and carry you out.
Girlfriends, daughters, granddaughters, daughters-in-law, sisters,
sisters-in-law, Mothers, Grandmothers, aunties, nieces, cousins,and
extended family, all bless our life!
The world wouldn't be the same without women, and neither would I.
When we began this adventure called womanhood, we had no idea of the
incredible joys or sorrows that lay ahead. Nor did we know how much we
would need each other. Every day, we need each other still.
|Heal your Heart, Love your Body and Live your Joy!
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