|Tantra Masturbation and Orgasm
|Heal your Heart - Love your Body - Live your Joy!
Simply Stunning! A beautiful and profound experience
3 guided meditations on one CD. Access higher wisdom,
intuition and insights. Change habits, release fears and
activate healing energies.
Read what others say
This practice takes the emphasis away from the moment of orgasm and channels pleasure
throughout the body. Instead of the ‘Big Bang Finale’, you will be experiencing waves and waves
of pleasure throughout the entire process. It’s like having a solid ball of orgasm and letting it all
dissolve into your blood stream, so that every cell within you becomes orgasmic. This is the
sense of ecstasy many desire and attain. Most people fall more deeply in love with their partner,
and really do feel they have merged with them. I have never tried this with someone that I have
not deeply loved, and my guess is that it might not be possible. It requires deep and genuine love
to make the initial connection, as well as a great deal of trust and respect. When that depth of
love is there to begin with, then this practice will add to it, expand it, and take it into a realm that
is as close to ecstasy or spirituality as we can go. Many people who have experienced this will
feel that they have merged their souls, and experienced a love so deep that it is not uncommon
to cry or almost pass out from its beauty. This kind of love cannot be faked. When sharing
another person’s energy in this way, it can only ever be genuine.
Of course, slow, gentle, seductive foreplay and prolonging sex by building desire in waves, will
bring about an amazing excitement, enjoyment and a deeper, stronger orgasm. We all need and
deserve satisfying sex and we are all capable of achieving it. Ideally, we all want to be deeply in
love and connected to someone, but that is not always where we are. If you have a lover then
you have the opportunity to improve the quality of the relationship and you owe it to yourself and
your lover to do so. Being lazy, indifferent, or just not taking responsibility, is a crime against
yourself as well as your partner.
Too often, women expect men to do all the work and act like a stiff and unresponsive workbench.
Women need to take responsibility for their own sexual pleasure and become active participants.
We need to get over our self-consciousness, or this stupid belief that a male ego is so fragile that
we dare not suggest that anything is wrong. Men are eager to please and are willing to exert an
enormous amount of energy to do so. I think it’s about time we responded in ways that said, “Yes,
I like that” or “No, that’s not quite it”.
Women who fake orgasms need to re-think the whole idea. Faking an orgasm will result in your
lover thinking he did everything right and take your orgasm as approval. You are sending a
message to continue doing what he’s doing – well, if it’s not getting you off, then why are you
encouraging it? Too often woman won’t say that they are being rushed, won’t verbalise their
needs, or won’t give any response to indicate pleasure, but will instead use ‘withholding sex’ as
retaliation. A man does not understand that “I’ve got a headache” might mean, “I want
cunnalingus”. If you can’t give a straight verbal message, then at least give a physical response.
Lying in the ‘corpse position’, is a little bit too subtle, don’t you think? Too often, relationships
revolve around her avoiding it, and him begging for it, and both people are left feeling
resentment towards each other. Even when the relationship has deteriorated to this level, she
still won’t say why she doesn’t want sex anymore. Usually, it comes out in a vicious argument, and
he is left feeling totally humiliated or devastated when he finds out she has been staring at the
ceiling for the past five years, while he has been banging away. All that, “Yes, yes, yes baby”
didn’t mean I’m coming at all, it actually meant get it over with and leave me alone.
Throughout this page, I have stressed the importance of being ‘Tuned-In’ to your lover and it
may have seemed that I was speaking to men only – this is not so. Men have unfairly been
accused of being less sensitive and less emotional than women. It is often assumed that men do
not need to be touched, nurtured, or re-assured and this is not the case. Men are definitely
emotional and sensitive beings, and good sex requires expressions of emotion and sensual
pleasure by both genders. Men’s bodies may feel big and strong compared to ours, but that
doesn’t mean that penises need to be yanked off their base. Men love to be touched and male
skin is as responsive to touch as female skin. Men also need to feel desirable and attractive, and
most importantly it’s time women stopped acting like they are doing a man a favour by having sex
with him. Good sex requires give and take, and good sex for both genders includes mental,
emotional and physical exchange.
On occasion, a man may cum a little early and he will quite often be left feeling like he has let you
down. It is pretty decent if he has the energy to get you off manually, but sometimes he may just
be too spent. Rather than gaze at him accusingly, or make some sarcastic remarks, or just lie
there feeling let down, take yourself in hand and bring yourself home. For goodness sake, the
man has seen you naked, entered your body and tasted your vaginal fluids by now, surely he is
not going to be shocked by your ability to touch yourself.
Some people do not have a partner and do not wish to have casual sex, but still have sexual
desires and needs. Some of us have been so deeply conditioned against masturbation, that we
still feel shame or guilt about it. If you really do think masturbation is wrong or sinful, then you
really must have a very candid and logical discussion with yourself. Whose belief system are you
operating under? If more people (particularly women) would masturbate more often, then we
would all know more about our sexuality and we would all be sexually satisfied. Yes, you do need
to be sexually satisfied; sexual satisfaction makes you healthier, reduces tension in the body, and
enhances well-being on all levels. It also feels very very nice. I’m sure you probably think that you
have no hang-ups about masturbation, but let me ask you this, “What kind of masturbator are
you?” Could it be, that you, yourself, treat yourself indifferently, or more precisely, are you a
wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am lover with yourself? We are all very quick to complain about
insensitive lovers, and yet when it comes to pleasing ourselves, we go straight to the “quickie”.
Masturbation does not have any rules, and you really can have your own way with yourself.
Perhaps you may have never considered that you can tease and touch and seduce yourself.
Maybe you have never explored touching anything other than your genitals in a mad rush to get
yourself over and done with. Many women do not look at their genitals from one year to the next.
It doesn’t take too much effort to hold a hand mirror and you might quite enjoy watching yourself
touching yourself and responding. Do you taste or smell yourself, or have you even considered
loving yourself with your heart and mind while you are masturbating. Sexual satisfaction and
pleasure is available to all of us, but too often we are too busy, too disconnected, or too self-
conscious to fully experience and enjoy it.
I do not offer this information as any kind of sex manual, nor do I present myself as any kind of
sex expert. I am hoping that I may have inspired you to think through your own sexuality and free
yourself of erroneous and limiting beliefs about your body and sexuality. This is not a manual; it
is simply a presentation of some ideas or insights to encourage the reader to fully explore sex as
an expression of love. I wish you the experience of sex as a sacred ritual, with many deeply loving
and fulfilling moments.
Copyright Sonya Green
|Heal your heart, Love your body and Claim your Joy!
Reinventing Myself by Sonya Green is now available in paperback.
Click the book cover to find out more.
If you feel this website has inspired you or resonated with you or if you
found yourself thinking about someone who would benefit from visiting
these pages - Trust Your Intuition and send them the link.
If you would like to copy an article to your site or blog, you are welcome
to do so, but must note copyright Sonya Green and refer to
If you would like to support this site you might consider emailing in
suggestions or comments, a small donation, purchasing a product or
visiting the links to our sponsors.